Ask a Minge

Is coffee considered a first date?

mike — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 00:46:31 +0000

I must admit that I was pretty skeptical about eHarmony as Match.com didn’t really pan out so well. But in the few short weeks that I have been a member, I already had 3 first dates, 2 second dates, 1 third date and a few upcoming first and second dates. It’s been a marathon of dating and the girls that I have been matched with have all been pretty good.

But here’s the thing. My normal MO when I ask a girl out is to take them to a coffee shop to get to know them and see if there is any chemistry. If there isn’t, well its a cup of coffee wasted and we can both leave immediately to our own dwellings. If we hit it off, then its off to dinner and my place. But with eHarmony dates, they actually suggest you first meet at a neutral place such as a coffee shop and get to know one another. This is right up my alley right? But there is an odd quirk. The first dates I’ve had with my matches have all started out at coffee shops after emailing eachother for a bit outside of eharmony, and when we actually meet, its as if we already know one another. Because in fact, we have been essentially telling eachother our likes, dislikes, dreams, etc. So does the coffee shop meetup count as a first date? Or is it more of a 1.5 date and all you want to do is confirm that you do have that “spark?” If coffee is supposed to be getting to know one another, what happens if you already know each other? To play it safe though, get coffee. Consider it date 1.5 and set up the 2nd date and take things from there.

So far the girls I have met haven’t disappointed. The only glaring thing about eharmony matches vs girls I would normally go after is age. I like them a bit younger than me. No, I’m not a pedophile. I’m 31 and I prefer to date a woman that is about 27-28 years old. My matches have been around my age and skewing towards the higher end of the age range.

This would make sense when you think about the types of women that go onto eHarmony. They are usually well educated and are in the mode of looking for a long term relationship if not marriage. Plus they have money to burn for a service like this.

I must admit that the women I have been in touch with have all been wonderful and we have that instant rapport with one another. The sad thing is when I have heard of their horror stories of some guys they have met, such as the stalker type (isn’t there always one?), the self-obsessed, and the guy who totally didn’t look like his picture because it was taken over 5 years ago.

More to post on the dates as I keep meeting these women. Will i find my future wife? Probably not. Will I meet some really cool girls to hang out with? Definitely. I just hope they have some younger sisters.

Chemistry.com trial run

mike — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:39:41 +0000

We here at AskaMinge have been very busy going on dates with people from eHarmony and we will be doing a full write up of our experiences once things have waned down. But now its onto testing out a competitor to eHarmony, called Chemistry. They bill themselves as the place to go to when eHarmony doesn’t work out for you. So we will be giving them a test run and see how it fares.

The First and Only Rule of Dating

mike — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 21:11:54 +0000

When you’re dating, there are a lot of rules that people throw at you, such as how long to wait to call after you exchange numbers, where to go, what to do…blah blah blah

The first and only rule of dating is. Don’t Give a Fuck!

Disclaimer: This applies to any situation when you’re dating but not in a relationship.

First Date Survival Kit

mike — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 00:00:53 +0000

I often forget what to take on a first date. You would think I would have it down as I’ve gone on a quite a few first dates. Let’s face it, sometimes a first date is enough. So with that in mind, here’s my First Date Survival Kit.

condoms - just dont have it somewhere obvious, like your pants pocket. put it in your sock or stash it in your car, but not the glove compartment. just because they share a name doesnt mean they should share the space. and for fucks sake, have more than 1!
light jacket - for when she gets cold
blanket / beach towel - so you can get your groove on without shelling dough for a motel
dollar bills and change - save some for the strippers, but mainly for parking
toothbrush + toothpaste - keep your breath stank free, esp you smokers!
flashlight - so you can find the condom when you’re in the blanket
camera - to take pics of her getting nuded down. Yes, i’ve done this on a first date, you’d be surprised at how many hoes…er…girls like it.
cologne - to smell nice right before you pick her up
change of clothes - it always helps to have a change of clothes. I’ve had first dates where it will last into the next day and it helps to not be so dressed up the next day.
mouthwash - for her to rinse after doing a special job on you
hand lotion - not only for dry skin…in case she doesnt want to seem like a ho and just wants to give you a hand, even though we all know she’s a ho.
bottles of water - its thirsty work pimping on a first date.

there you have it. Have these in the car with you when you go and pick up your date. just leave them in the trunk and put on your A game…A for Ass!

Nice guys do finish last

mike — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 18:12:41 +0000

We’ve heard it all before, the saying that nice guys finish last, and when it comes to dating, it’s all the more pertinent.

There’s a time and place to be the nice guy, such as after you screw her brains out, but not during the courting process. Be the asshole you know you want to be. that’ll get you into her panties quickly. Now if she’s someone that you want more from, like an actual relationship, then be nice some of the times. Not all the time. It gets old really quickly. Because no matter how nice you are she still secretly wants that asshole to bang her brains out.

Go out. Give it a try. Be a total prick and see exactly how much ass you pull. I guarantee it will be more than if you were the nice guy.

The Perfect First Date

mike — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 08:05:27 +0000

What is the perfect first date? Is it having the right flowers for her? Dinner at the latest 5 star restaurant? Chilling at a bar? Sex at the end?

If you answered yes to any of these, then you should have your head examined. There is no such thing as a perfect first date. By definition the first date is supposed to be when you lay the ground work and really get to know each other. This is supposed to be the point where you size each other up and decide…to pursue or not to pursue.

Sadly, this is usually not the case. The case for the first date is usually to lie to each other, meaning to impress one another in hopes to either get a second and third date which then leads to having sex without the guilt. This is the bane of all first dates and the beginning of the courtship ritual.

Here’s my recommendation on the the perfect first date. Be your cheap ass self!

7 Resons why Online Dating Sucks Balls

mike — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 04:10:51 +0000

There aren’t too many things in this world that I would go so far as to say it sucks balls, excluding exes of course. Among the few things that sucks balls, online dating has to rank as one of the worst offenders. But I still use it. Here are my reasons why it sucks balls.

fake profiles - yup, they’re out there. Sometimes it’s hard to spot, other times they stick out like a sore thumb. Quality of pictures tells you something
wink this - whats the point of winking or any of the other free missives like icebreakers? The only purpose it seems is to say hi, but what’s the point when neither party actually pays for the service? there should be an ala carte option where i can pay per message, just like in real life. If I want to talk to the chick at the bar, i say hi, and buy her a drink. I dont pay the bar a monthly fee so I can talk with the chicks. Know what i mean?
because i said so.
too many girls take glamour shots
reading user profiles, everyone wants the nice guy or church going gal. reality is that they want to fuck the hottest guy/gal that contacts them.
if you’re shy, your SOL.
finally..the fucking monthly fees!

The games that women play

mike — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 00:57:43 +0000

When dating, there is always that inevitable game that we all play. Some call it courting, others call it playing the game..i call it bullshit.

We aren’t mind readers, especially when your body language says one thing and your mouth says another. That confuses the hell out of us!

Stop it. Quit it. Make that shit make sense!

At least be consistent. Don’t say one thing and do another, and vice versa.

If you like us, fuck us. If you don’t like us, blow us…gently.

Relationships are hard

mike — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 23:27:04 +0000

This is true. Courting is the easy part. You find a girl that you have your eyes set on and you pounce. But once the initial attraction and sex and all that good stuff is over it becomes more of a job. A job that you don’t get paid for in money, but you get favors for. Sometimes sexual, meaning she will actually have sex with you, and if you really did a good job, she may even blow you.

As the first post, this is where the lines will be drawn. I will write about the woes from a male perspective and my partner in crime will speak on behalf of women.

What qualifies me? Not much, other than being just a guy that has had his fair shares of ups and downs in relationships, both friend and intimate with women.