Ask a Minge

I must admit that I was pretty skeptical about eHarmony as Match.com didn’t really pan out so well. But in the few short weeks that I have been a member, I already had 3 first dates, 2 second dates, 1 third date and a few upcoming first and second dates. It’s been a marathon of dating and the girls that I have been matched with have all been pretty good.

But here’s the thing. My normal MO when I ask a girl out is to take them to a coffee shop to get to know them and see if there is any chemistry. If there isn’t, well its a cup of coffee wasted and we can both leave immediately to our own dwellings. If we hit it off, then its off to dinner and my place. But with eHarmony dates, they actually suggest you first meet at a neutral place such as a coffee shop and get to know one another. This is right up my alley right? But there is an odd quirk. The first dates I’ve had with my matches have all started out at coffee shops after emailing eachother for a bit outside of eharmony, and when we actually meet, its as if we already know one another. Because in fact, we have been essentially telling eachother our likes, dislikes,  dreams, etc. So does the coffee shop meetup count as a first date? Or is it more of a 1.5 date and all you want to do is confirm that you do have that “spark?” If coffee is supposed to be getting to know one another, what happens if you already know each other? To play it safe though, get coffee. Consider it date 1.5 and set up the 2nd date and take things from there.

So far the girls I have met haven’t disappointed. The only glaring thing about eharmony matches vs girls I would normally go after is age. I like them a bit younger than me. No, I’m not a pedophile. I’m 31 and I prefer to date a woman that is about 27-28 years old. My matches have been around my age and skewing towards the higher end of the age range.

This would make sense when you think about the types of women that go onto eHarmony. They are usually well educated and are in the mode of looking for a long term relationship if not marriage. Plus they have money to burn for a service like this.

I must admit that the women I have been in touch with have all been wonderful and we have that instant rapport with one another. The sad thing is when I have heard of their horror stories of some guys they have met, such as the stalker type (isn’t there always one?), the self-obsessed, and the guy who totally didn’t look like his picture because it was taken over 5 years ago.

More to post on the dates as I keep meeting these women. Will i find my future wife? Probably not. Will I meet some really cool girls to hang out with? Definitely. I just hope they have some younger sisters.