Ask a Minge

I often forget what to take on a first date. You would think I would have it down as I’ve gone on a quite a few first dates. Let’s face it, sometimes a first date is enough. So with that in mind, here’s my First Date Survival Kit.

• condoms - just dont have it somewhere obvious, like your pants pocket. put it in your sock or stash it in your car, but not the glove compartment. just because they share a name doesnt mean they should share the space. and for fucks sake, have more than 1!
• light jacket - for when she gets cold
• blanket / beach towel - so you can get your groove on without shelling dough for a motel
• dollar bills and change - save some for the strippers, but mainly for parking
• toothbrush + toothpaste - keep your breath stank free, esp you smokers!
• flashlight - so you can find the condom when you’re in the blanket
• camera - to take pics of her getting nuded down. Yes, i’ve done this on a first date, you’d be surprised at how many hoes…er…girls like it.
• cologne - to smell nice right before you pick her up
• change of clothes - it always helps to have a change of clothes. I’ve had first dates where it will last into the next day and it helps to not be so dressed up the next day.
• mouthwash - for her to rinse after doing a special job on you
• hand lotion - not only for dry skin…in case she doesnt want to seem like a ho and just wants to give you a hand, even though we all know she’s a ho.
• bottles of water - its thirsty work pimping on a first date.

there you have it. Have these in the car with you when you go and pick up your date. just leave them in the trunk and put on your A game…A for Ass!